Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Do you ever fear like you have become the worst version of yourself? Meanness, being cold & blunt, rudeness is all you can emote and holding those same emotions back makes you want to put those out there, with higher intensity. It’s like the Jekyll and Hyde situation, but much worse because you are very well aware of both your forms, unlike the famous tale, and thus also know the impact of your extreme personalities on people around you. The situation becomes bad to worse and you spitting fire at the drop of a hat, regardless of whom it is being directed at, deteriorates the situation even further. And then the entire saga of you feeling guilty and like the most indifferent, heartless person in this whole wide world, follows.  -_-

Whoever said that man creates 90% of his problems definitely knew what he was talking about. I mean just observe how the above situation plays out. 90% of the mess is thanks to the person who is the mess and not his/her situation or the people around. For reasons better or worse, you are not able to handle your current life situation in a manner you would want to and so things are falling apart. And I think what people fear the most is the fact that things are out of their control as their emotions are taking over and that is the scary bit that makes you react or in my case, over react, and from there on it’s just a domino effect. All you can do is watch the great fall.

But in every kind of a mess, there will come moments when you stumble upon things that compel you to stop, think and take account of the situation. It’s like the log or the branch of a tree that can prevent you from drowning in the lightning speed of the river current. The pre requite however, to finding that log is to look out for it. You need to want to find answers or solutions realising that you are drowning so that you can at least try and save yourself. Most of the people, I don’t think realise that they are drowning let alone to know they need help. How can you find something that you don’t know you need or are not looking for in the first place? It will come to you in different forms, but you wouldn’t know its worth. I guess that’s the reason why some things in our lives play out repeatedly. You know those bunch of annoying life situations that we find ourselves in, almost every time we get out of? And it makes you wonder, ‘why do I attract this situation or is it just normal that it happens again and again in-spite of me taking extra care that I don’t get sucked into it once I am out?’ I guess you are never truly out of it which is why it continues to repeat itself.

So what do you do in such a situation? Hmm…I think the first victory is in identifying that you are in such a situation. And there is one very full proof way to do that. Drum roll please…(Imagine a drum roll of your choice here. Lack of technology advancement so we will have to work with our imagination, which is not so bad )

SO, when your answer to everything in life is, ‘I Don’t Know.’ That is your cue. See, ok, sometimes you really don’t know the answers and your reply to that will be that you don’t know, I mean obviously. But when that statement appears too many times as your response to anything and everything asked by people around you, then it’s time you realise that something is not right. And that something is not right with you, not with the world. So the first order of the business is to figure out what it is that is bothering you. Trust me this is the hardest part of this entire process. Because this is the revelation stage and it will either surprise you or shock you. Now this can take a day, a week a month or even an eternity. It depends on how much you are willing to introspect and how fast you accept the problem when you have finally figured it out. My God! Aren’t we the most complex thing on this planet?! I swear if each of us could just figure ourselves out life would be so much easier.

So, it could be something related to your personal life or may be professional. Rejection, unhappiness, pressure of some sort, unsatisfied with a life situation of some kind, it could be anything that could be the reason your inner peace is being wrecked. And that will be visible to the outside world as the less attention you pay to it, the more it grows in you, having more power on you today, than it did on you yesterday. The only way to stop its meteoric growth is that you address it. Acknowledging its presence is a good start. Like they say, face your fears. It’s good advice actually. And I think most of our fears lie in our vices and in our incapacity to be able to do something.

When you know you are not good at something, what do you do? You avoid it right? It’s the same thing. Then one day when you are forced to come to terms with it, because c’mon that just how life is, you are nothing but a nervous wreck. Even if you make up your mind to deal with it, your emotions are running so high and the fact that it is your weakness doesn’t allow you to give it your best.

And you believe you have failed in spite of you trying your best. No! How have you tried your best when you were suppose to work on it over a period of time and not when it actually comes before you in its exaggerated form? You lost because you were supposed to address it over a period of time, which you didn’t and you expect yourself to be ready to take on something that will come in its worst form to test you, and you will be able to handle it like a pro. How? How do you become a pro when you never practised?

Take things as they come, one at a time. Oh I never realised the power of this simple advice until now. This is my revelation for today and it is a big one!

See, I am a big believer of achieving things by staying in your comfort zone. Yes you read that right. I don’t believe in all that hogwash that you can achieve the greatest things and the things that you wish to, only once you step out of your comfort zone. Because according to me a non comfort zone can never breed anything creative, new or something that you want. How can something that is uncomfortable to begin with be an environment to develop or achieve something? Those annoying saying that go like, ‘get out of your comfort zone and watch the magic happen!’ I mean c’mon! Reality is soon going to play its course and whatever little magic you believed in will soon be a thing of the past. Achieving your goals (personal or professional), despite an uncomfortable situation- that I believe in, as nothing comes easy in life. But putting yourself in an uncomfortable zone being under the impression this is how life gives you things you want, is downright demented.

For example a lot of people believe that you must once in your life live on your own, away from you family and do everything on your own to get the real feel of life. Really?! I say, everybody should live with their family throughout the time when you are at the stage of wanting to run away and do a million things that they will raise their eyebrows at and then experience the fun of what life has to offer you. It’s easier to live apart and do what you want to than to live together and still continue to peruse or do things that you want to, along with learning how to compromise on situations. Pretty similar to how falling in love is the easiest part but staying in love with the person you have fallen in love, is what life is about.

So basically a comfort zone is a place that will yes, one, make you lazy and two, allow you take things for granted. But if you can overcome those two things, it is pretty much where the magic happens and you are already there. As life progresses, you will start to take on things that are out of your comfort zone on your own, without you having to put yourself there in the first place and naming it, ‘this is uncomfortable for me so I must do it.’ And that’s how your comfort zone becomes wider and doesn’t shift from one that is comfortable to a non comfort one and you are able to take on and deal with situations that you couldn’t earlier.

Know what you want from life and make your journey to achieve it. Your goals might change on the way but your path if chosen correctly, will take you to your real destination. If you are being mean, cold, blunt and rude to people around you and you yourself are sick of it, know that something needs to be addressed and must be tend to now, before it gets worse. If you can be the worst version of yourself you also know that there is also a best version that you can be, otherwise how would you gauge you have deteriorated if there was nothing to deteriorate from? You just have to really dislike this mean version of yourself to make the effort to shrug it off so that the real, calm, peaceful happy person can come out to play.

There is a beautiful quote of Eckhart Tolle that inspired this blog post and I would like to quote it.

‘Forget about your life situation and pay attention to your life. Your life situation exists in time.

Your life is now. Your life situation is mind stuff.’

Some fodder for your thoughts. Have a nice Sunday you guys. I know I’ve had a good one in a really long time.