The movie begins by introducing the characters through a song which you would consider rather harmless and maybe even catchy. But pay attention and you realise it’s really a warning woven in rhyme and music.
“Sau pratishat hai musibat, saccha na samjho tum isko, hai vadda liar.” Liar=Trailer.
Musibat= Feature presentation.
Kitna=SAU PRATISHAT.
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Humpty Sharma ki Dulhania along with Humpty and Dulhania is lame, immature, agonizing, and crass and a complete waste of time and money. My Parent’s hard earned money.
Humpty aka Rakesh Sharma ( Varun Dhawan) is a final year graduation student who has no interest in studying and has no goal or ambition in life. He is the “ek lauta vaaris” of Vidya Book Centre and is good at heart which is apparently enough to make him irresistible and be considered as a prospective groom for your daughter. Kavya Pratap Singh (Alia Bhatt) is getting married and because she didn’t have a say in choosing her potential life partner she now wants only a “Designer Lehenga” and nothing less, for her wedding day. Some bargain, that. This, by the way, is also not entertained by her family. So she decides to raise Rs. 5 lakhs herself, in a month through “jugaad” and buy herself a wedding lehenga.
Genius. _/\_ -_-
So, she makes the journey from Ambala to Delhi in pursuit of her dream outfit only to cross paths with Humpty. How the two fall in love, and you fall asleep, is the story of Humpty Sharma ki Dulhania.
The punishment lasts for a good 2 hours and 15 minutes and all you have to do, to deserve it, is buy the ticket. The film lacks in concept, story, dialogues and rationality. Slap stick comedy, cheap dialogues and shallow characters make this ship hit rock bottom; never once giving it an opportunity to sail. And, the people seated behind you who yap non-stop and provide parallel direction and commentary, make it worse and unbearable.
Director Shashank Khaitan’s maiden venture doesn’t deserve an audience or a release let alone a production house like Dharma. Karan Johar, you are losing your hair and your judgement of good and trashy. To be fair, the director at least is an inspiration to all those out there who believe that they can become a director some day; as it turns out that absolutely anybody, just anybody, can. All his camera does aesthetically is pan to Alia’s neck showing off her “Pataka” tattoo. Yes. We get it. She has a tattoo on the nape of her neck and it reads “pataka.” SO?! Why in the world would you get yourself inked “Bomb” in the first place anyway?! A new low of shallowness is what it is if you ask me, both personally and now professionally.
The never ending DDLJ dialogues and scenes- which the director seems to be obsessed with- are excruciating, crashing your hope and faith in Bollywood and the belief that it can come up with original, sophisticated and genuinely good cinema.Sloppily placed songs that are miles away from rhythm and poetry keep springing up every 20 mintues as though challenging you, if you should still be seated or storm out. Alia can sing and can do it beautifully. The only thing I like about the movie is the song, “samjhavan” which is soothing and melodious only because it is incorporated from a famous album and is not original to the film. Same goes for “Saturday, Saturday.” thumbs up because its borrowed and not original. I have no idea what music directors Sachin-Jigar and Toshi Sabri got paid for.
Alia Bhatt and Varun Dhawan have shown zero progress or growth as actors. They are rather loud, unbearable and rely on their mass appeal rather than acting skills. Varun Dhawan was never my kinda actor- the one I would approve of, as an actor in the first place- and this movie reassures that. Alia, you are slipping and you have to do something pretty soon before you turn into the new generation “Sonam Kapoor.” The lead pair has no chemistry and forced heavy emotional scenes and dialogues make the director look desperate, almost begging the audience to accept his loosely carved out characters.
Débutante Siddharth Shukla (Angad Bedi) is the only saving grace in the film. Of course this is not the film to comment on his acting abilities or potential, but he did good to put life into his character that is, the ideal groom. So much so that you really question what Kavya sees in Humpty and why she chooses him over Angad?! No wonder her family(initially), did not let her have a say in choosing her own life partner. Look what happened!!
And I really think it’s time that Bollywood gets rid of “marriage” as the definition of happily ever after. Dear god. The guy has no education, job or potential to survive on his own let alone take care of a wife! And try the “aadhi aadhi roti” mentality in the real world, with the real father in laws or even prospective brides for that matter, you’ll be thrown out and rejected immediately no matter how “good at heart” you happen to be.
All in all, don’t even bother giving this trashy piece of work a thought, let alone actually going for it. I was desperately waiting and praying for the intermission, and had to be dragged back inside to finish the rest of my punishment that I myself volunteered for in the first place.
P. S.
To whom so ever it may concern,
Don’t you dare say these two are the new age Shahrukh-Kajol. No one can ever be or replace them. The least you can do is respect your seniors and not insult them and their work. DDLJ, K2H2, K3G and Shahrukh Khan specifically in them, are sacred. And toying with what is sacred will not be taken lightly or in good humour by the audience that swears by them.
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