No courage without fear

There is something about the above line that really made me think.  I saw it on a T-shirt and I just could not get my eyes off it. Of course I bought the T-shirt but along with it came a million thoughts adding to the billion that my mind already houses.  -_- A common emotion felt by all living beings and I think it is the one that tops the list. Fear comes in so many forms varying in degree and the time it sticks with you of course, but I think it’s the most common emotion felt on a daily basis. So why is it that this emotion makes its way so easily in our day to day lives when compared to the other million things we feel ? And you know what is amazing about this emotion, that you cannot categorise this one as a negative or a positive one. Try it, I bet you can’t.

How can you categorise something that you feel instinctively that threatens your current state of survival? You can’t say the fear you feel is wrong, bad or even unreasonable. Why somebody fears something is extremely personal and subjective to them and you may be able to argue with logic like in other emotions such as love, hatred, sorrow but not fear. Life experiences, hard times, memories and situations that build the person you are today and continue to do in the future, are central to what you fear and what you don’t. So much so that this is the only emotion that has a name for every common, ridiculous, unimaginable and unfathomable fear that you could find people battle with! I mean if you have a fear, you can find what the phobia is called by just ‘google-ing’ it. And that directory is just endless.

So why is it that this emotion greets us on a regular basis under various circumstances, in various forms and of course carrying peculiar names? What is it that it seeks? Its fodder is negative thoughts and the more you entertain it with them it’ll continue to thrive, grow in size and be like the guest that refuses to leave your abode. But there is one thing it hates the most as it compels it to leave and regular practice of it even keeps it away.

Every time we fear something we are given an opportunity to be courageous. Why? Well I don’t know about others but when I’m having that 5 minute conversation with the almighty at night I’m asking him to do what he feels is right for me but please oh please, just give me the courage and strength to get through it. That’s all I ask for.  So initially I thought I’m not like the others who are asking for material things and begging him to give me things on a daily basis and having a long list as to how unjust or unreasonable he has been to me.

Time passed and I thought okay, in spite of not being that person he is still not giving me the courage or strength for even the tiniest fears I encounter on a daily basis. And that is not fair; soon realising I was also one of those people who started to weigh as to how unjust and unreasonable he was being. And I’m guessing he got tired of the constant insinuation that I was directing towards him and he decided to put it in words for my benefit as I completely ignored his signs, as subtle as they might have been (trust me they were not).

Whatever be the degree, when we are gripped with fear of any kind you are not going to be given strength or courage as a boon or a weapon to use it against the situation. The current situation that is being presented to you by the divine is the opportunity for you to receive what you have been asking for! If you receive it by succumbing to the fear, it is fear that you think you are being subjected to. But what if you receive it with courage? What then? You are receiving what you have been asking for; courage and strength in an adverse uncomfortable situation. So you see what you are doing here? Every time you pray for and ask for courage and strength you are asking to be encountered by a fear. A fear that will test your mettle for the courage you have built up until that moment in your life here on this planet. If you have the courage to deal with the situation that situation no long has power over your fears and you have passed that test. But if you haven’t, the same situation will present to you itself again at a later point in your life, and re test your tenacity to see if you’ve grown as a living being.

And I understood this fairly late in my life. Because I found myself becoming afraid of the tiniest of things, things that I really wanted to do too and that really bugged me after a point. And obviously I found myself asking for courage every other night and being presented by a fear the next day and the cycle continued. Only recently did I realise (and by recent I mean now, like right now!) what was actually happening. I now understand that the fears that I was being presented with was what I was religiously asking for, on a daily basis. Just imagine my ‘Bhagwan’s’ plight. He was giving me exactly what I was asking for and I was still not happy. No wonder he had to put it in words for me. :p

So what has come off it? Believe it or not, my biggest fear in my schooling and college days was the fear of writing. I was terrified of it. Every time people came up to take down names for essay writing, creative writing, short stories competition even, I would cringe and believe that is one thing I just cannot do. So it surprises me today that I’m here at this point in my life celebrating my baby’s second birthday and so proudly. :’) I asked for courage and one form of it has been given to me that I’m able to celebrate it today.

Sparkling water turns two and it has become such an integral part of my life that I cannot describe the place it holds in my heart, my life, growth. And the big ‘push’ have been you guys whose constant encouragement has made it, made me, what we are today. I am still on my journey to encounter my strengths and experience what life has in store for me. I might not be brave every time and might not even be able to get over a few of my fears throughout out my  life but I know that every situation that scares me, scares my soul, is an opportunity for my soul to act differently. If I can accept my fear and present it with courage at that moment, I’m preparing my soul for greater fears. And if I cannot, there are lifetimes and life forms I have to experience as it is only the experience and many a times the lack of options that would give me the strength to face my fears.

Courage is not the absence of fear, rather the judgement, that something else is more important, than fear.

Choose what is important to you, you will need to put in some effort and require a good amount of perseverance to make that choice, but trust me, once you choose what is important, you will find the courage to seek it. Because really, you would not have any other option but to face your fear, gifting yourself with the most valuable trait you could ever gift yourself. Courage and strength.

#courage #fear #selfworth