Vikas Behl, I’m so disappointed in you that you leave me with no choice, but to do this.
Starring Dumb(Alia Bhatt), Dumber (Shahid Kapoor) and Dumbest( Pankaj Kapoor), “BEKAAR” is something that does not have a story, dialogues or a director. I say ‘something’ because if it does not have the three things listed out, so how can I call it a movie? Btw, the order of the DDD has been followed as to who has been in the industry for longer. The more experienced you are the dumbest you have been tagged. Because this is something experience should get you out of, not make you a part of it.
So getting back, this thing that has hit the theatres today is sure to ruin your one day break that you get from your hectic life. BEKAAR is nonsensical, immature, unreal, and not to forget an infuriating piece of shit that does not even grab your attention for the first 10 minutes. Yes, 10 minutes.Lack of a story line, songs that keep springing up one after the other making you think that the scenes were written to fit the songs and not the other way round, along with a bikini scene thrown in with double meaning lines here and there may guarantee you a commercial success but that does not make bad, good. Kuch bhi nai chalta hai.
And the belief that it will, is a testimony to the fact that how quickly the standards are falling.
Dumb is an orphan brought home by Dumbest against the wishes of his mother and wife, and is of course the apple of his eye. It doesn’t take an IQ of 125 to figure out that Dumb is Dumbest’s illegitimate child. Now the apparent story that I could gauge is that Dumb is an insomniac orphan, who has not slept for years. Yes you are right. She has not slept since the day she arrived in this house. Wait, it gets better. So the idea is that this “Rajkumaari” does not need help or clinical treatment from sleep specialists or professionals, but a Rajkumaar who will finally put her to sleep.
It’s Snow White and the seven dwarfs. Backwards.
As if snow white did not ruin our lives, a backward story is the final nail in the coffin.
FYI the following are symptoms of Insomnia, which happens to be the subject of this thing but absolutely no effort has gone into finding out what it actually is. And Vikas, Insomniacs don’t not sleep for years. You should really know that. The following should help you understand it better. For your next film, please Google. At least once.
Difficulty falling asleep at night
Awakening during the night
Awakening too early
Not feeling well rested after a night’s sleep
Daytime tiredness or sleepiness
Irritability, depression or anxiety
Difficulty paying attention, focusing on tasks or remembering
Increased errors or accidents
Tension headaches
Distress in the stomach and intestines (gastrointestinal tract)
It is a serious disorder that people around the world suffer from and you have made a mockery of it. I mean c’mon, “Rajkumaar?” Dude your precious daughter who is the single most important thing in the world is sick, and needs professional help! Do you realise what this is going to do? A big chunk of people who did not know what insomnia is to begin with, are going to be educated through this, that not sleeping at all and still being able to function like any normal human being is Insomnia. Nice.
It gets worse. Sindhis are shown to be gold plated people with empty bank accounts. Aroras are shown to be business minded people who do not know how to do business and have nothing left themselves. Where the money for a destination wedding in Europe comes from, is a question I am not even going to ask. Both the families are conning one another for money while having none at all. Some background check that is! No wonder the two are bankrupt. -_-
There is a scene where Dumbest promises Dumb that they will runaway together. In a mysterious sense it was a cue for the audience to do the same. And to do it now, and don’t look back. A simple precaution as that could have saved your sanity. But we know what bad films are, we’ve braved them in the past and believe we can do it now too. But you know what they say, the bravest thing to do is accept defeat and walk away. Trust me it comes in handy with this one.
Oh there is another idea that because she does not sleep she has never dreamt till today. So her father gives her dreams to dream about in the hope that she will sleep. What kind of a bizarre concept is that, that you dream only while you are asleep? Does the word ‘Day Dreaming’ and the process of doing it which comes naturally to a human being completely forgotten?
And there is a loop hole all right. The girl who does not know how to dream or what a dream is because she does not sleep(at all), dreams of being rescued by her Rajkumaar in broad day light when she is about to go horse riding. Score. You couldn’t even be consistent with your idea of an insomniac.
Karan Johar. The fact that he is producing something like this( alongwith Anurag Kashyap and Vikram Aditya Motwane as his accomplice) is already a bojh to this lovely planet of ours, but he does not leave it at that. He is actually in it to cause further pain as himself, Koffee with Karan. See they should have disclaimers for stuff like this. “Smoking and Shaandaar are injurious to health. Public smoking and screening will be fined.”
That guy is seriously loosing it. He does not even portray a gay character right. Showing that a gay guy will always have his hands resting in a certain way or will not be able to fire a gun because he is gay, is putting all of them under one category which is how the world believes them to be and is insulting them further. It’s not the straight people who have this idea of what gay people should be like on their own, it’s because you, yourself plant this image in their head! And every gay person is a designer. Period. There is no other profession to which they belong to because you know why- they are gay.
And the bride, Dumb’s sister who has her epiphany moment in the mandap when her to-be-jerk-of-a-husband laughs out loud because her blouse rips as its too tight, does the most path breaking, noble prize winning, brave and feminist thing to make her point. She strips willingly in front of everybody to show to the world that now she is not afraid to embrace her FAT body and is comfortable in it. Darling, you could have made that point with your clothes on too. We all can see your fat and you don’t have to display it to make us believe that you are comfortable with your body. Because by stripping, you contradicted your point, that to accept something to yourself you must first display it to the world.
BEKAAR will make you appreciate Happy New Year and will restore your faith in Dhoom 3, yes, I agree that those movies did have a story to tell. So what it does is that it challenges your mind because the movies that you thought were disasters were nothing in comparison to this, making you appreciate the past more, scarring your present and instilling fear in you of what the future holds for you, movie wise.
Do not go for it. Save yourself the horror and exercise the responsibility you have towards yourself of walking away from crappy people, situations and movies. This is promoted as a feel good, light and comedy/romantic movie luring the audience to give a feel of what it is like to be tortured and paying for it yourself.
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